Monday, April 21, 2014

A happy weight balance.

Well it's post Easter and I have managed to gain 6 kilos in one month eating the Coles brand hot cross chocolate buns!  I have no idea what they out in them, but they are addictive and I was/am addicted!

I managed to quit (cold turkey) for 5 days while the kids were away, I was very busy at work and managed to garden a bit when not working and ate when I wanted and minimally.  I have noticed morning and afternoon tea seem mandatory when the kids are home and I don't seem to be able to resist. Then Easter weekend came and of course I had to buy them again and I have managed to eat about 15 in 3 days!

So it's time to get strict. I need to be careful with diets and this is why....

This is the largest I've been after my 2nd child


I crept to 86 kilos - I am 160 cm.....


Then 3 years later after my last child I shed the weight, I stopped eating.  Completely.  I got to 45 kilos and had to really struggle to eat again.my mum was dying so it was my way of dealing with the awfulness and lack of control.  Eating disorders are always about control.  There were two things that made me fight to eat again.  One my husband cried and begged me to eat.  I think I've seem him shed tears twice. The other my 8 year old eldest son told me because I wasn't eating meals he would stop too.  I went to an eating disorder clinic and over 2 years became "normal".  It took a long time to get what that meant, I had to be retrained and had numerous arguments with the hospital dietician. When I first met my husband at 24 years I was also in a disordered eating pattern and had been since 17 and was slightly underweight but had very bad habits and he drove me to the Austin outpatients each week for 3 months until I was well.

Fast forward to 2014 I have just hit 68 kilos, I ruined my metabolism from starving, I have bone density and dental issues.  I still have my size 6 clothes, I still remember the comment from a neighbour that set me to loosing so much weight.  "Face it you will never fit into your size 12 clothes again love" lol.  I showed him. Funny at size 6 I thought the shops had attached the wrong labels to everything as I was surely a size 14!

So this week I am looking I to healthy eating, I am committing to exercise, I do ride a lot, swim twice a week and try to do some weights occasionally but work gets busy and I put it all last.  I get very tired.  I'm exhausted actually most of the time and I know realistically exercising will make me feel so much better!
I know I eat to excess to cope with my kids.  One is a teen, one a little challenging and the youngest is really precocious! Whenever they fight I hide and eat. It's not good so I shall take a deep breath and manage a different way.

So I am blogging about it to make myself accountable.  I'm pledging to get to 60 kgs by October.  I want to walk further, commit to eating more fruit, less fat no cakes and the teensiest slice of chocolate occasionally.

Who can encourage me help me along or wants to join me? I don't really want  focus on food or exercising to excess I've done that before it's boring, time consuming and not that healthy.  I want balance, I want health, I want to feel good.


7 comments:

  1. Oh Sue! You are very courageous to post all this on your blog for anyone to see. I came over in response to your comment on my blog, and ask if you would like to meet up in Warrandyte one day for coffee (or a healthier tea...), and I am gobsmacked to read about your health issues. You poor dear...sounds like your hubby adores you, so you have everything to live for. Have you ever thought of posting any of this on the DTE forum? I reckon there would be a huge outpouring of support for you, much more than I can offer here on my own :-{

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    1. Oh no Gina I am really well now all good nothing to worry about at all. I think I posted it more to explain the challenge I have with weight more than to get emotional support as I am not at all in an at risk weight these days.

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  2. Just re read your profile and see you are in Ballarat! Bit far to come for a coffee in Warrandyte, or are you over this way regularly?

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    Replies
    1. I am in Ballarat although my Dad's partner lives in Eltham but I don't really visit regularly at all. I should I have a visit to a friend in Healesville due and I do travel through that back way, so might be a possibility one day if your free.

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  3. Sue, I support you 100% and would love to join you. If I could get back to 65 I would be extatic. I have struggled with weight issues my whole adult life. I just don't want to diet anymore, but rather have good balance.

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  4. Yay, we shall support each other then Annie! I am starting small and breaking my changes down to week by week. This week I am concentrating of food changes only and next week will incorporate exercise. I plan to drink more water this week and every snack must have a piece of fruit with it. I plan to walk the dog at Black Hill Lookout rather than on the flat. I am still going to swim twice a week but next week will think of something to add that I can do with the kids home as my gym sessions go out the window when they are home and it's a short week this week so they are not gone long! Pump the tires up Annie maybe we could go for a ride together!?

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  5. Good luck Sue! I'm too far to meet-up but I'm trying to loose some weight as well and together with a good Dietician it is finally coming off. Exercise is the last thing I feel like after a 12-hour day at work, but yes, afterwards, we feel great, don't we?
    Goo luck and would love to join your challenge!
    Frances

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