Birthday blessings

Yesterday was my birthday, In the spirit of focusing on the positive it was a gorgeous day weather wise.    I had a great day out to lunch with friends from the soup bus where I work once a month and a good friend from school also dropped a plant to hubby when he picked the kids up from school with a lovely note on it.

This is a home made notebook from my friend Liz - she made it I love home made gifts they really say I thought of you and anyone that knows me knows I am forever writing notes! They will be put to good use!

Home made jam and chutney from my friend Rhonda and a gorgeous bottle with love in it, she knew I needed it that day and it did make me feel special.

A lovely Cyclamen from my friend Heidi, I garden at school with Heidi so she knows can't beat a plant for a pressie for me, I love that she even remembered!  I have an advantage for her birthday as it's on the same day as my sons - too easy!

This is what I wanted for my birthday but hubby isn't fantastic at getting things done by the actual day....however, he sure made it up to me The following day and the minute Bunnings opened he was off choosing bits for my new gardening cart. The cart I had in mind that was very cheap and on special was no longer on special but this excellent trolley was way sturdier and hubby missed the footy match today to built it for me.  I LOVE it! So perfect for my needs, they simply don't sell gardening carts to hold you tools at all as far as I could find.  This fits everything! I even brought some new tools with the boys gifts 3 Bunnings vouchers, perfect!  The dog seems to wonder what it is.

I can fit my weeding bucket in it or for a big weed can actually remove the garbage bin!  

I brought this worm farm with one of the vouchers, I have an identical one but the legs are snapped on my old one and the worms are going through the food so fast in it I thought two are necessary now.

When I removed some worms from the old there was tons of muddy wormy poo, I had a full bucket and diluted it in water and watered the whole front garden, very nutrient rich my plants will be thanking me! Particularly as they had a fish emulsion bath this morning.

I had a helper, sadly he was also watered with fish emulsion and will not be sleeping on my bed tonight! I was pretty stupefied to hear my youngest as I just watered the hanging baskets with the fish emulsion say "here Monty like a bath" as he held him under the drippy water!!  Good grief!   I possibly said worse than that...

My eldest son has been busy bricking up all my garden beds that needed a border.  Thank goodness for the heavy lifters! 

Finally this morning we started spreading the mulch for the new garden area.  This area will evolve over time I have BIG plans for it and cannot wait for the next step.  My middle son sprayed the whole area with out super salt/vinegar spray that kills all the weeds.

The little son brought up more bricks from the paddock for a border around my clothesline.

Have to excuse the washing, I was trying to do 10 things as once and had forgotten to bring it all in!

A happy weight balance.

Well it's post Easter and I have managed to gain 6 kilos in one month eating the Coles brand hot cross chocolate buns!  I have no idea what they out in them, but they are addictive and I was/am addicted!

I managed to quit (cold turkey) for 5 days while the kids were away, I was very busy at work and managed to garden a bit when not working and ate when I wanted and minimally.  I have noticed morning and afternoon tea seem mandatory when the kids are home and I don't seem to be able to resist. Then Easter weekend came and of course I had to buy them again and I have managed to eat about 15 in 3 days!

So it's time to get strict. I need to be careful with diets and this is why....

This is the largest I've been after my 2nd child

I crept to 86 kilos - I am 160 cm.....

Then 3 years later after my last child I shed the weight, I stopped eating.  Completely.  I got to 45 kilos and had to really struggle to eat again.my mum was dying so it was my way of dealing with the awfulness and lack of control.  Eating disorders are always about control.  There were two things that made me fight to eat again.  One my husband cried and begged me to eat.  I think I've seem him shed tears twice. The other my 8 year old eldest son told me because I wasn't eating meals he would stop too.  I went to an eating disorder clinic and over 2 years became "normal".  It took a long time to get what that meant, I had to be retrained and had numerous arguments with the hospital dietician. When I first met my husband at 24 years I was also in a disordered eating pattern and had been since 17 and was slightly underweight but had very bad habits and he drove me to the Austin outpatients each week for 3 months until I was well.

Fast forward to 2014 I have just hit 68 kilos, I ruined my metabolism from starving, I have bone density and dental issues.  I still have my size 6 clothes, I still remember the comment from a neighbour that set me to loosing so much weight.  "Face it you will never fit into your size 12 clothes again love" lol.  I showed him. Funny at size 6 I thought the shops had attached the wrong labels to everything as I was surely a size 14!

So this week I am looking I to healthy eating, I am committing to exercise, I do ride a lot, swim twice a week and try to do some weights occasionally but work gets busy and I put it all last.  I get very tired.  I'm exhausted actually most of the time and I know realistically exercising will make me feel so much better!

I know I eat to excess to cope with my kids.  One is a teen, one a little challenging and the youngest is really precocious! Whenever they fight I hide and eat. It's not good so I shall take a deep breath and manage a different way.

So I am blogging about it to make myself accountable.  I'm pledging to get to 60 kgs by October.  I want to walk further, commit to eating more fruit, less fat no cakes and the teensiest slice of chocolate occasionally.

Who can encourage me help me along or wants to join me? I don't really want  focus on food or exercising to excess I've done that before it's boring, time consuming and not that healthy.  I want balance, I want health, I want to feel good.