Forced Rest = Garden time

Sometime I exercise too much and think I can run. So I ran home from walking my son to school.  I think I can do anything at times, I can't. I injured my knees so have been at home gardening slowly trying to enjoy my home.  I never really enjoy forced rest, but I think my plants benifitted. My legs are healing I adapted my exercise I don't do zero exercise so finally on the mend.

To be honest this week sometimes I have no words, sometimes there's so much you can never say so it manifests physically.  I'm my case my hair is rapidly falling out.  I'm beyond devestated now I mean most people have chemo to loose this much hair.  Not me, just stress. Hopefully someone might show me how to use a headscarf nothing matters anymore.

October

October in the garden for me is a month of hard work as Spring brings forward new growth and I remove massive amounts of weeds, I can reflect and enjoy the bulbs I planted back in Autumn prepare the veggie garden for the Summer crop, harvest the last of the Winter crop and try and find some time to sit and enjoy my beautiful garden.

Gorgeous orange Ranunculas.

I walked around the corner of my clinic to see these beautiful Iris's had flowered.  I divided all my Irises this year and have a ton to flowers along the front, I so love the excitement Spring brings.

This is a Tulip that seems to have a hard time staying closed.  It's like the ones slightly deranged one amongst a clump of very serious Tulips.  Of course I relate, it's my favorite. It's out there saying "I can do anything, be anything, nothing's going to hold me back, please accept me I am different".

It's serious friends. The straight Tulips.

A friend brought me these on a trip and I love them, they are so typically me.

The weather has been getting better around here and I am getting much stronger, gaining weight and building muscle, this is my Vintage bike. No gears, hard slog around 25 kilos to push up hills.  I love it. I try to get out and do around 100 km a week on it. Don't think I have used my car for about a week, so good to get out in the fresh air.  I do get some odd looks on it but that's ok. The bright colours I dress in I would get looks regardless.

When I ride hard I get my appetite back and can eat, this is my delicious tofu stir fry, absolutely love this meal, goes down a treat after yoga class.

I have been to some markets of late and brought some second hand things, this was only $3.

This plant, $2, I repotted into an old Bonsai pot. I love the idea of Bonsai, I'm really not very good at maintaining the plants though.

Please excuse dishes, and the rubbish bin no dishwasher here.  Skirt Cooper by Trelese.  $15 Necklace, $5!!! Apparently the label skirt normally sells for $400, I'm not sure as I usually buy from Big W, but the lady at Talbot Market seemed very knowledgeable in these things and I love the skirt it's very unusual not my usual sort of thing. I got a Liz Clairebourne jacket to go with it, also $15! Very blessed!

Looking forward to making some Spearmint tea over Summer.

This is Banana Mint, cannot wait to taste this one!

I really enjoy markets and second hand products, particularly vintage. Talbot market is one of my favorites for excellent buys as is Daylesford. 

October is also a month of denial for me, November will be intense but October I have chosen to just concentrate of recovery from an intense few months, which means focusing on yoga, gardening, getting physically and mentally stronger, forgetting sll the bad stuff and sorting out my diet out accepting I cannot do my paid work right now, studying on self reflection, mindfulness and how best to manage the challenges I have been cursed/blessed with.

Wish me luck I possibly won't be as Zen come mid November! Although I am desperately hoping to do things differently this time around and not get as anxious!

Mindful Journey - Week 2

In a not very mindful moment I just accidentally deleted my last mindfulness post!  I began a mindfulness course online through one on the Uni's here in Victoria and it's a 6 week course I am now in week two although I have forged ahead a little bit as its self paced and with 2 of my boys returning from holidays tomorrow I needed to get ahead. I am up to week 4.

I am noticing some amazing changes mostly with my senses. They all seem to be at a heightened state the more I practise the mindful exercises. I can hear birdsong on my walks in the bush easier and time almost slows down when I notice these things.

My vision seems sharper in that I am catching sight of Butterfly's and Blue Wrens and little red birds I cannot name that I might not have noticed on my walks before.

I am drinking more water and picking up hunger cues I missed prior.  I am now eating again initially just increased my very basic set meals but today I felt like expanding and cooked two old favourites. I had already walked 5 km and cycled to yoga and it was during the Savasana asana (that relaxing end bit). I realised I was starving and craving eggs.

Eggs, Mushrooms and Spinach on Sourdough.  24 hours prior I wasn't eating egg yolks bread was a one piece a week deal so this is pretty huge for me.

Yes, I did walk around the lake afterwards but that's ok, the market was on and it was a beautiful day.

This was dinner a tofu spicy stir fry.  The dietician I see wanted me to expand on the veggies I was consuming and add tofu which I love, I have noticed taste is really sharp since I've been focused on mindfulness.

I lost a lot of muscle and weight with recent stress, I don't think I've ever been this fit and I have always been very healthy and fairly fit but certainly I am no longer strong and I need to be super strong to do my work so my mission is to get strong fast so I can return to work. These meals high in protein and nutrition will mean I can slowly start to lift weights and rebuild muscle.

I am back at hot yoga a few times a week have also taken to Hatha yoga which I usually reserve for Summer and am back cycling every day, getting stronger.

Cycling is excellent for mindfulness in this town if your not sharp on the bike the cars pretty much run you down!! I am blessed in that I live so close to town I can cycle anywhere and do, the Library, shops, Yoga and Post Office. I have a few bikes for my purposes one is a 25 kilo vintage bike with no gears at all and two large baskets on it.  That baby builds leg muscle like nothing else.

 

In some other mindful moments from today, this I spotted on my walk, these gorgeous babies, the father Swan was in the background watching me and I had my dog so I was scared make no mistake (Swans are to be feared at all times particularly when babies in tow) however, I trusted something divine would protect me taking the picture as I stood in the middle of fearful dog and bold swan.

I also stopped the walk to do a mindfulness practise running through each of the senses;

The wind on my face.

The scent of the blossoms from the nearby trees and water.

The touch of my hands in my lap.

The view of the sparkly water.

The sound of the water lapping against the pontoon.

Then 5 deep breaths the out breath always longer and deeper than the in breath to activate the parasympathetic nervous system. Calms everything down.

It was lovely actually and although I got the urge to cartwheel back to shore, very happy mood with this sunshine,  I held back and kept serene before continuing my walk.

I have better shots of my Tulips but wanted to explain this flower opens to the eastern sun and seems to close again as it gets to hot later in the day. Not that it's getting hot we have literally had 3 warmish days in 6 months but never the less that's what happens.  I was weeding next to these Tulips - there are 5 opened now and I heard this constant buzzing. I worked out a Bee had gotten stuck as the Tulip had closed much like a Fly trap plant but without the morbid end.  I gently opened the flower and Bee flew off.  I am pretty allergic to Bees so I was pretty happy it didn't sting me. Heightened hearing!

Just look at the centre, I feel like some  random stranger off the street has been in with a textas colouring in my flower to perfection, this is perfection for me and for me this is what life is about noticing the beauty in the simple things. You don't do this when consumed with thoughts particularly stressful ones.

I do wish I could get a decent shot on this iPhone camera but I've yet to actually work out how to use it, suffice to say the sunset looked much prettier in real life than on here it was such a magical moment.  Visual bliss.

I'm loving this course!

Spring 2015.

Still raining!!!! Everyone up here keeps saying not enough rain.  They need need to get over to my place, the clouds are hanging this way, constant drizzle!

I did get out in the garden this week to take some pictures during some moments when it briefly stopped.

I do love how my Russell Lupin leaves catch the rain though, one of our more scientific garden helpers at the school explained how this works once a couple of years back, I can't re explain as I didn't retain the information, it's more fun for kids with Nastursians and cabbage leaves. I remember having hours of fun with a bit of water and Mums Nastursian leaves.  Clearly no Internet when I was a kid!

One of my weirder Daffodils. 

Such a cheap pot! Happy flowers, no clients to greet for them right now, hopefully soon.

Wish I clever and could make eczema creme with these Marigolds for the first time since a baby my youngest has broken out with a nasty patch of eczema & it I prefer the natural methods first.  Although it's so bad you just have to treat before it gets too bad. Maybe I might boil some flowers up and research for later on.

I think I brought about 10 other varieties of these Hellebores last year I must go searching for where they were planted.  Maybe under all the weeds I suspect...

Typical cat has to stand right in the weeds for a picture.

Plates are broken so often in this house - kids dry the dishes, I have decide they look better in the garden in a bare spot than in the recycle bin. Might look better with a plant in front of it.

Chooks have started laying again, right when my sports mad eldest has decided he's sick of eating eggs and I have stopped eating them! Must be a sign it's time to start eating them again!

Today I visited some of my garden.

Today I actually got out and went for a short walk with my dog. I've been In Melbourne it's not been for a pleasant time & haven't been 100% over the weekend but people have been giving me positive pep talks particularly my sister who I now have a different kind of relationship with and another lady who will probably never read this, but boy she is keeping me on track even if she is focusing a little too much on my food intake, lol.I know it's because she cares.

Only 2 weeks ago I took this picture.

But look at my nearly flowering Tulips today! 

I love seeing my plants grow this really did improve my mood a bit.

My Bonsai's outside my clinic are starting to get leaves again.

Finally got some Pansies in my baskets. Had to wait months coldest Winter ever!!!

I brought the best Hyacinths inside, but these look ok too.

I ventured to my paddock and we have broad bean flowers.  I actually loathe broad beans but I am trying to eat from my garden and trying to aim for green and healthy. Little wait but I am watching.

My chinese veggies have all gone to seed, I literally lived on these and poached chicken for months I picked some I think they will still be ok, maybe a little tough.

My friends have returned, all the Magpies around the neighbourhood never attack me, I just say hi to them and treat them kindly and feed them, their nest is in our paddock you might see it to the right and the mum bird to the left.  They are destroying the hanging basket out the back I just made out of coir but so what it's getting used for their babies and that's exciting. I love new life. I love nature and watching these baby Maggies grow up.

No gardening got done today too tired still healing, but I am getting hope back and I know you may not read this but thank you. And to my family who may well read it MASSIVE thank you. 

Lately I have been...

I haven't blogged much, things have been a bit cold here and a there has been a lot on. I am dealing with some major things righr now are some amazing things that are getting me through.

Last week I went to a friends farmstay and stayed 2 days with my eldest son, caught up with a friend and brought this while there. There is so much to be grateful for in life so this has a lot written in here already. We had a really good bonding time, he helped me to eat a little more he's such a good kid my eldest son and has just been chosen by his school to be a white ribbon ambassador.  I felt like it would be the last time we would have such a special time together.  He has two intense years coming up with VCE Next year.  I did my first handstand yoga style while away. Major achievement.  😊

A really good friend gave me this to take my mind of things, she knows I cannot focus too well right now and this is meant to be calming it's an adults colouring book.  I did a page put my music on only made it classical instead of my full speed stuff for exercise.

Clearly no artistic genes in my body but hey I'm not trying to impress and it was done the night before I had to catch a train so it certainly took my mind of that angst!

The same friend gave me this, I am not remotely christian, but I am deeply spiritual, I do believe in a higher power and universal law, she felt as a tactile person herself she likes to hold things all the time that this could be helpful for me, the wood is Olive and feels smooth, the look of the grain is awesome, I love it, I feel safe when I start to panic, trouble is I keep loosing it, I put it down kids also like its feel bang its gone. It's rather large or I would wear it around my neck!  This girl is pure love, she cares so deeply for people.

I brought this Yak made blanket from the yoga studio for $20 and ALL profits go back to Nepal and it was made in Nepal and now I have learnt what a Yak is so triply blessed plus it looks cool is warm and right now I hold this close and sit tight. Feel secure.

This is making my body and mind strong, I do yoga every single day, I am for 4 times a week hot yoga at my friends studio and then 3 times a week practise Hatha at home. It completely grounds me and quitens my mind.  I just love it, it has gotten me through some tricky and tough times.

I have no garden news this time, not even a garden picture to share.  Love to all. Xxx